Reconnecting with Hand in Hand Parenting through Their Website

The website that I have chosen to follow is Hand in Hand Parenting’s website. You can find it at: 

www.handinhandparenting.org.

While I am quite familiar with the organization and use their ideas to teach quite frequently, I have found myself really wanting to reconnect with the information, to learn it on a deeper level, and to refresh my own commitment to slowing down and being present as a mom, so I chose to spend the next seven weeks reading through the many free articles, bits of parenting advice, and explanations of the basic brain science behind a child’s (and an adult’s) emotional behavior.

Hand in Hand Parenting is a non-profit organization that hopes to change the way that parents view their children. By focusing on connection first, which is essentially a child’s first language, you ready the social and emotional portion of the brain to give the go ahead for the portion of the brain that governs impulse control, rational thinking, and short-term memory to kick into action. Conversely, if connection gets too frayed and the social and emotional part of the brain doesn’t feel safe, the small stresses of the world can overwhelm a child’s brain. The child’s behavior goes off track. By rebuilding connection and giving children the space they need to be upset, release the stress hormones that shut down that rational thinking, and just accepting and loving her child for who they are, children have the release they need and return to rational thinking. It is a revolutionary approach that puts brain science before the social norms of reward and punishment. And, in my experience, and my practice, it works!

But I have found that this type of parenting takes constantly mindfulness and sometimes I get a bit rusty and my own upset clogs my thinking and I become that bear that I really don’t want to be! I yell at my kids or, like today, I actually stomp my feet like a frustrated toddler! I say things I regret. Parenting is hard. Today, I was happy to have the assignment of checking in and reconnecting with some of the Hand in Hand tools.

I reviewed a video entitled, “How was School? Fine.” The video is of HIH founder, Patty Wipfler on NBC’s nightly news in the San Francisco Bay Area. She discussed the need to give kids a chance to have a little control and power after a day of being told what to do from start to finish. She also discussed the need to give kids time to reconnect before you start badgering them for information. My oldest daughter is getting older and I have noticed that some of the HIH tools are a little tougher to use. Patty discussed the idea that when children get older, they become more emotionally protected, and it takes a more patient, less obvious, but equally loving approach to kind of go fishing for connection with them. It was really inspiring to me.

If you ‘d like to check out the video, you can do so here:

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/in-the-news/

I hope you find this as helpful as I do!

Thanks!

-Lauren